Beauty in the Journey

This weekend, I was drilling a cabinet door and thinking about my grandfather. As some of you know, we bought a house recently. There’s always a lot to do when settling in: hanging curtains, putting up pictures, and so on. As I worked, I was appreciating the man who taught me so much about life over a tool bag. That thought led me down a rabbit trail that helped me put some perspective on motherhood. My mind is truly a maze of connections, and I’m about to take you on one of those journeys.

I grew up with a single mom and a house that always seemed to need attention. Thankfully, Grandpa was just a phone call away and wouldn’t quit until he figured out how to fix whatever was broken. Honestly, I got excited when things broke because it meant special time with him. My age was never a factor; he wanted to spend time with me, but he also needed to get something fixed. I wanted to spend time with him, and I loved that he included me. It was that simple. Some of my favorite memories with him are the ones spent over a tool bag. I could write a whole book about them.

I learned so much too, not just about tools. I learned things he probably never realized he was teaching me. I didn’t just listen; I watched. Here are a few of the lessons; even if I didn’t know how to fix something, there’s always a way to learn. Gave me the confidence to do the job myself next time, and to explore how to fix it if I didn’t know how. (Because I always knew that if I couldn’t do it, Grandpa was just a phone call away.) To be able to take care of things myself. Work can be fun. I’m sure there are more lessons I don’t even realize I learned. What we both viewed as simply spending time together gave me traits and values I still carry today.

As I was thinking about all this, my mind jumped to; why do I think motherhood is any different? I’ve been hard on myself lately because of the move. I’ve felt like I haven’t had enough time with the boys, or have I? Has society, full of Instagram-worthy moments, caused me to feel like I’m not measuring up? Or is it my own expectations? Lately, life has looked a lot like those moments I had over a tool bag, and those were some of my best childhood memories. I realize I’ve been complicating motherhood. My kids just want time with me. They want to be included. And the best part is, just like me, they’ll learn far more than I expect. My grandfather is still teaching me lessons over a tool bag, even twenty-five years later.